God it is amazing, I cant explain how it feels, but I just feel so proud. Let me explain.
On Saturday I went to Karate training, and trained hard. Afterwards my son came racing over to me while I was talking with someone saying "Sensei wants to talk to you about grading" I naturally assumed it was about my sons grading as he was scheduled to go on Sunday, but no. Sensei decided I am ready to grade. I was so shocked, and immediately the nerves took over. I spent the whole night doing my kata in my sleep LOL I could not think about anything else much all day. Arriving at the grading hall I just felt sick...
You see I only graded to yellow belt eight weeks ago, and I have only done fourteen classes since then, everyone else lined up to grade in my group all have at least a months more experience than me, I felt like I was in the wrong place.
Any way I lined up, took a deep breath and decided to put in my best effort, and if I did not make it, I could at least know I had given it my best shot, so I did.
And I made it. I am now officiall 7th kyu, Orange belt. And I am so proud of myself. I feel like I have been walking on air for the last two days, and it feels so good. I cant wait to go to training tonight and put on my new belt for the first time. Imagine how good it must feel to get your black belt, if orange feels like this.
This is the first time in years that I have done anything totally for myself like this. Karate is starting to take over my life, but in such a good way. I automatically think of taking care of my body so that I can continue to improve in my training. I try to apply the discipline I need for training to other areas of my life and work. Our sensei once said that Karate is not just a martial art, but a way of life, and we all nodded wisely... but now I think I am beginning to understand.
So today I am proud of me.