Saturday, March 3, 2007

Am I avoiding me?

We are going out to dinner tonight, but right now I am home alone. The kids and DH have gone to pick up Grandpa from the airport, then they will come back for me and we'll go to the restaurant. It was DH's birthday on Thursday, so we decided it would be fun for us all to go out together. We don't take the kids to restaurants that often with us. (and you should see the girls with their eyeshadow and their lipstick on lol they are 5 and 8 years old!).

Anyway the reason I am posting is because as soon as I shut the door on them, and came inside I had this mad urge to eat. I am not hungry, and I know that there will be good food tonight, so I want to have enough space to enjoy it. I am not feeling sad, or stressed or anything else like that. The only thing is this, I am at home alone, and I feel like I should head straight to the pantry! Not good.

I always do this. As soon as everyone is gone, I will stand in the pantry and scoff down as much food as I can, sometimes it is "naughty" stuff, and I know there is no such thing as naughty food, but for the purposes of reference, everyone will know what I mean by naughty food, but sometimes it is just cereal or yogurt or fruit. The thing that makes it stupid is that as soon as I am alone I think I should eat. Why is this so.

I always thought I enjoyed my own company, to be honest I still think I do, but maybe I am wrong. Maybe by chowing down as soon as I am left with myself it helps me avoid myself. There's some thinking to do there.

Anyway I have caught myself today, I have spoken rationally to myself about whether I really need to eat, and instead of being in the pantry, I am here telling you guys about my weird eating habits. I still need to dry my hair, and wrangle it with the straightener, and paint my toenails, so I'll go now, but thanks for saving me from myself ;-) having you guys to tell these things to helps you know.

Have a good weekend xxx


Lynne said...

Ah! That's me! I tend to surf the pantry more when I'm alone and I don't know why I do it either!

Kate said...

I do that too! Well, I used to it much more than I do now, but it's a leftover thing from childhood I think.

Hi! I am finally coming over to visit you. Thank you so much for all your comments, I will be back!



lisa jane said...

were you bored? boredom is a mild form of stress too,and can often lead us to eat when we are not hungry.

LisaB said...

I used to do this for a looong time too... In my case, it was because back in the 'bad' days... I was ashamed to eat 'naughty' foods in front of people... one, because I was convinced others would be fascinated/disgusted by what that fat chick is eating...and two, back to my childhood, and a father who would scream and yell at me for eating stuff that would make me fat. So as soon as I was alone I would scoff all of the stuff that I wouldn't eat in public. I would jam-pack as much in as I could because I wouldn't know when my next chance to eat it all this forbidden again. In later years, my hubby wouldn't have cared less what I ate...but old habits die hard and I would still pig out whenever alone. So...yeah, for me it started for a reason, and then became habit. Thankfully one I have kicked as I am often alone and would be about 200+kg if I hadn't stopped doing it.

Zanna, travelling tart, back in Oz said...

I think it stems back to sometimes childhood - sneaking when mum's not looking but also when we portrayed to others how virtuous we were - not eating sweets, having a cake with morning tea etc. then grabbing the opportunity to 'stuff it in' when no-one was watching. Half the time you didn't even enjoy it cos it was swallowed so fast in case someone came in and found you. Old habits die hard...... very hard sometimes! So for you it was like .... here's an opportunity I shouldn't pass it by. Still do this kind of thing myself when my head isn't in the right place.

Zanna, travelling tart, back in Oz said...

Neglected to say - how fantastic that you identified what you were about to do and even "betterer" that you resisted.

Miss Beck said...

*penny drop*

Kate said...

Have come to you via Beckie's link. I sure can relate Joc! I'm a sneaky binger from waaaaay back.

Nice to have found another blogger to read!

Kate :)

skinny latte said...

I did it too, and even now at goal I still do it sometimes.

It's wonderful being this self aware and being able to recognise what you're doing, and work out whether it's beneficial, or if it's something you need to work on and think about. Well done for being so switched on!