Secret Santa

When I was small I used to love getting presents, der, who doesn't? But I never really thought much about giving them. We all used to give each other presents (four siblings and two parents), but often we would give each other things that Mum had gone out and purchased and wrapped and put a lable on for us to hand out.

These days I just love giving presents to other people, in fact I probably enjoy it more than getting given presents. I usually buy for myself anything I really want, and the things I really want cost more than I want anyone else to spend on me. This year I decided to make up a special little gift for my sisters. Both have small children, and money is a little tight, and both have to buy their own presents each year, so there are no surprises.

I made them both a little stocking to stick under the tree till Christmas morning. Inside there was a copy of my favourite CD, a couple of cheap paperback romances, some lip balm, some foot cream and some chocolate. All inexpensive, all wrapped separately, but all unexpected. I was so excited when I posted them off this week. Everything in them is just a little thing that is for them only, not something for the house, the children etc. I had planned to put bubblebath and sweet soap in as well, but forgot - der!

I just got a text message from one of my sisters, and she was so surprised and happy, it really made my day. I got the idea from Flylady.net ages ago, but until this year never got my act together to do it. I think it is one I will continue cos it makes me happy :-)

Some linky stuff

Mary Alice has written another Christmas post, you can read it here. Cracked me up.

Also took this test that Trish linked to and came away with a scary 94% - oops.

I have been meaning to get some more scrapping completed and uploaded onto my scrapping blog, but time has been at a premium. After next Friday 21st I am on holidays YAY, till the end of January, so I am sure I can get to that then. In the meantime I have been taking photographs everyday to record the month of December. Jessica Sprague had a fabo photoshop template for downloading that simply requires a couple of clicks to place the photos, and a bit of journalling, and a whole album can be created. That is what I am planning to do with my December photos. Stef Hamilton has been keeping on top of it, and posting her layouts daily (one day I will get there) so in the meantime check out Stefs layouts, and I will post mine in January lol.

Also the hugely talented Ali Edwards has been posting a layout a day about Christmas which you can check out here.

Hows that, a whole post letting other people do the blogging.

See you round
xxx

All I want for Christmas is...

hmmm Christmas presents. We have reached that point in the year where we have to decide what to get out kids this year. They pretty much have everything they want, my middle child couldn't even think of anything when I asked her last week. My oldest always asks for a P1aystation, (are we the only family in this country not to have one?), but I have held back for a long time on this because so many of the games I see at his mates places have been totally unsuitable for my two younger girls to see, and probably for him too. I am close to relenting now, because they are all a bit older, and because I can put my foot down on exactly what kind of content is allowed now that he is old enough to reason with. But I am still unsure. And my youngest wants a ... unicorn! Hmm anyone seen one of these about lately lol.

My in laws are giving them a table tennis table, which we will put up... somewhere, but I at least like the fact that it is an active game, and it gives them plenty of time to learn to play together, and develop good sportsmanship (because someone will have to have the littlest on their team) so they will have to learn to negotiate that, and to help her learn how to play.

Last year my brother gave them movie tickets. That was a truly great present, we don't go to the movies much we usually wait till things come out on DVD, so movie tickets were a real treat to them, and they thoroughly enjoyed the experience.

I have been asking the parents and grandparents to put money in for a yearly zoo pass, so we can visit the zoo whenever we feel like, or a yearly pass to Questacon, which is another fantastic place to go with kids, it stimulates their minds, and is lots of fun. So far the parents have been deaf to my ideas, but maybe one day! As an aside, anyone who is visiting Canberra I would highly recommend a visit to both places, especially if you have kids.

I read this post at No Impact Man about Christmas presents which I found thought provoking.

I don't want to take all the fun and gift giving out of Christmas, but I would like to make some changes. For the last few years the pile of presents under the tree on Christmas morning, and the amount of paper and packaging carnage that is left twenty minutes later has been obscene. My family are all comfortably off, our children want for nothing materially, but I do think that we have all become too focused on the material things, and forgotten about the personal. My parents buy all of the grand kids presents, but it has been ages since they have had the time to sit down and actually play with them one on one, particularly my kids because we live in a different state. I have heard my kids saying how long it has been since the saw Nana and Poppy, and that they miss them etc, I think they would rather have Nana and Pop spend a week with us and do stuff like watch them play sport, go for walks, have picnics, watch movies together, sit on their beds and talk to them, play boardgames etc, instead of receiving a package and a card on Christmas morning.

Don't get me wrong I do love presents! I would just like to see less emphasis on them. We see my parents often, but usually we and they are so busy, that there isn't the time to sit and really just be, there is always rushing off to do this and that, and be here and there, and the quality time just slips through the cracks.

This year on Christmas day there will just be me, DH and the three kids (and the dog) at home together until 4pm. What I want for Christmas is the awareness of being in the moment with them and enjoying each other. Sure there will still be presents, but my aim is for them to look back and not even remember what the presents were, but remember how good a time we had together.

What are you doing for Christmas this year?

Time

Lately it seems there just isn't enough time. I am your average every day wife and mother, who works during school hours, but I seem to achieve so much less than I need to. I have a list as long as my arm of things I need/want to do, and right now I am struggling to find the time to fit them all in. Maybe it's just to do with the silly season, heading towards Christmas the normal list gets exaggerated because of the other stuff you feel obliged to do.

All I want for Christmas this year is a bit more time! (well maybe that's not all I want, but its certainly what I need lol).

I read a great post about Christmas and the stresses we create for ourselves because of it over here. I really like reading Mary Alice's view on life, and it doesn't hurt that she has the same name as one of the Desperate Housewives which tickles my fancy, I don't come across names like that living in Canberra ;-)

Must get back to work, keep well everyone.

xxx

Well hello there

I spend so much time reading blogs etc, and on the internet in general that it always astounds me when I realise how long it has been since I actually typed a post myself, rather than just reading what about the lives of all of the other talented bloggers out there. For all of the time that has passed between postings it seems not a lot has really happened. I guess that could be a good thing lol.

I am fast becoming addicted to me new camera. It is so versatile, so easy to use, and the photos so far have been making me happy. Well some of them anyway. There are a lot of substandard photos too, I have been jumping in and out of menus, and experimenting with different settings to work out what suits me best, so a couple of photos were complete disasters.

Here are a couple of my favourites so far:



Usually when he knows I am taking photos my son puts on his "photo" face, this time he didn't get the chance, and the blue sky in the background is just such a great colour.



This is her usual look, hair in her face, outside in her pyjamas, off in her own little world :-)


I was planning on uploading more but blogger is not cooperating right now, so I will save some for another post.

Right now it is 8.47am, and I am still in my pj's, today we are going out for lunch at work, for my birthday and for my friends birthday, and work is pretty slow, so the last thing my boss said to me yesterday was "dont rush in tomorrow", I have the worlds best boss! So I have time this morning to sit and appreciate the quiet, there are stacks of things I could be doing, but they'll keep, its rare that I am home alone anymore, and I really miss it.

In some happy news, I weighed in at the gym last Tuesday for the first time since before my birthday and I have not gained any weight in that time, even though my gym visits have been ahem random... and I have had numerous celebratory dinners. Cool. I have actually been noticing that I feel full or satisfied, and I stop eating - OMG, this was the thing I struggled with for most of the year, it seemed like I had lost that sense of "enough" but slowly without me even noticing, it has crept back in yay! I've got more thoughts on IE dieting and weightloss swirling round my head that I might have to pin down in coherent form and post here soon.

The lovely Zanna has tagged me for five random facts about me. I did one of these not so long ago with seven facts, so here are five more - talk about value for viewing, twelve random facts for the price of five ;-)

1. I can wiggle my nose like Samantha from Bewitched, much to the envy of my sisters when we were small, and my children now.

2. I have the entire series of Charmed on DVD, and have watched it more than one time. When I was young I always dreamed of having magical powers, and being a witch, and my boss calls me and my co worker the witches, because we both have green eyes and constantly give him a hard time.

3. When I laugh (like really laugh) I make snorting noises. My husband thinks its hilarious, and rates the humour in our television viewing by the level of "piggy" laughs it elicits.

4. When I was younger I did work experience as a veterninarian nurse, and assisted in the caesarean delviery of a litter of kittens.

5. Even in the middle of the night, when there are no people to see, I will not drive through a red light. I will encourage my husband to do it, but I wont do it myself.

OK, that is the third time I have written this post so I will sign off now, and post some more when blogger is being more co-operative. Stay well my lovelies!

xxx

So what now?

I need to change the tag line on my blog now, because I am no longer in my late 30's, I have now officially entered my 40's, the Fabulous 40's as we like to refer to them now ;-)

My birthday celebrations went well, much more low key than originally planned, but still enjoyable. It seems that I was an early bloomer, as everyone else who attended the celebrations had a babe in arms, I meanwhile, was able to ignore mine for the duration, as they are all old enough to look after themselves. There are advantages to that! They are also all old enough to get the wine from the fridge/counter whatever and top up Mummy's glass, one of them is even at the stage where he can open the next bottle for Mummy - the joys of having children that have passed the hands on stage and are exploring independence, (please no scary stories about rat bag teenagers to ruin my post birthday glow lol).

The weather in Sydney was its usual accommodating self, not! So we moved the lunch time venue to my mums backyard, where they had covered areas to keep us dry while we mingled. Then dinner time we settled under the balcony roof of our cabin in the tourist park to celebrate.

I was also very lucky to receive some gorgeous gifts, lots of chocolate and flowers. Hmm maybe I should turn forty more often.

And the birthday joys are not over yet, in another week we go out for dinner with my Canberra friends, which promises to be a fun filled night, and this afternoon I get to pick up my new camera... aaahhhh

I have been lusting after a new camera for ages now, but the one I want is rather pricey, so I have reached a compromise, I will upgrade but not go all the way to the top. The new camera is not a DSLR, but has hugely improved zoom and movie capture capabilities, compared to my current camera, so will be sure to keep my interested for quite some time now. So for now I will be moving up to this, which makes me very happy!

For the last few months everything in my head has revolved around getting to my 40th, I am here now. I am a very different person to who I was when I turned 30, it's been quite a ride, rollercoaster like with huge ups and downs, I'm looking forward to finding out what the next decade will bring.

xxx

In the clear light of morning

Its amazing how well you sleep when you have made a decision that feels right to you. This morning I feel really good. I am looking forward to tomorrow, and I have no regrets. I have a beautiful big bunch of flowers here on my desk from one of my work colleagues, and I have just had a great conversation with my mum. All is good with my world.

Tomorrow we drive to Sydney, we are having pizzas at my sisters house, then heading off to bed, then Saturday we meet with my family and friends for some celebrations. Sunday we are back home again.

I hope everyone has a lovely weekend. I know I will :-))

Making Choices

Thanks Jenny and Zanna for you comments, I admire both of you so much, and see you as such strong positive women - you are both my role models (except I don't think I will ever own as many shoes as you Z lol).

There has been lots of talking, lots of thinking and a little angst over the past few days. I decided to go to the christening, and I told DH* that was what I was going to do. He argued a bit, but I didn't back down.

Then I received more emails from my friend, and the content didn't make me happy. They were specifically guilt inducing, which she knows works so well on me, and made me feel manipulated.

So I sat down and really thought about it. I thought about why I should or shouldn't go, I thought about if I had ever treated one of my closest friends the way she has this week. Her email repeatedly said she was cancelling coming to my 40th this weekend because of resentments that she has had for five years, but it is only now four days before my birthday that she even mentions them to me. This is the first time she has ever said anything to me about it, so her timing sucks. She keeps saying she doesn't want to ruin my birthday, that is why she isn't coming, and that she hopes I have a great birthday anyway. Sorry but its a bit late, if this couldn't have waited for four more days when she has apparently had this problem for five years...

So I am angry about it. She could have cancelled coming if it really bothered her that much, without dumping all of this stuff on me during my birthday week. She could have spoken to me next week and explained her problems and given me a chance to respond. But so far she has refused to take my calls all week, so my only response can be via email, which as you know is limited when really trying to express heartfelt emotion.

The other thing is, the christening is not being held in the city I live in, to go I would either have to pack up my family, and take an extra night in a motel somewhere before attending the christening, or spend six hours on the day of the christening driving. Neither options works very well for my family. I could do it on my own, which is what I told my DH that I would do, which still means three hours driving before the christening, leaving early and three hours driving back again, by myself. Can I do it? Yes of course I can, but do I want to?

No.

So I changed my mind. Given the email manipulation, and the distance circumstances, I have decided to not go. All it would have taken from her was one honest, in person conversation, no blackmail (I am not coming to yours because you are not coming to mine), I cant fix what I don't know, and I don't know how she expected me to fix anything given the way she has approached me and the timing of when she approached me. I could be cynical and say she is cancelling my birthday to teach me a lesson, knowing that if it works there is still time for me to say Oh OK I will do what you want and come to the christening after all, (that's what my sister said anyway) and the thought has crossed my mind, but I don't want to believe it.

So in honour of being true to me, and what I want to do, I am not going to the christening because it isn't right for me to do right now. I will still post the present I have for her daughter, and I will continue to hope that we can communicate with each other and work things out, but I will not be guilted into making a decision.

I also haven't told DH* that I am not going yet, I think I will let him get used to the idea that I have decided on something regardless of his opinion, and next week I will tell him my revised decision, and my reasons for revising (none of which had anything to do with him!).


* DH can also refer to dick head sometimes ;-)

Crisis Point

I am not sure how I did it, but I have managed to badly hurt both my husband and my very good friend. Right now I am feeling all churned up inside. Last night I couldn't sleep, and today I just feel sick, and I don't know what to do.

My friend has a baby who will be christened this month. I have told her I am not going to the christening. There are many reasons, I haven't been to the christenings of my other friends children's, nor my nieces and nephews. This started in part because of the fuss my husband used to make about having to go. He hated it, but wouldn't let me go on my own. So he came to one, suffered through it, then put his foot down and said we weren't going to any more.

At first I was upset, but over time the whole christening thing has gone sour for me anyway, there have been too many personal things that have made me decide to steer clear of the church, and too many hypocrites in my life.

My friend is very upset with me, this is her second child, both of them adopted after ten years of trying to have children. I understand that this is important to her, and I feel very guilty and bad for saying I wont be attending.

My husband isn't supportive of me going, so again I feel very guilty for pushing this issue with him. I feel like the only thing holding me together right now is my skin, and if it breaks I will just fly apart. You've heard of between a rock and a hard place...

I emailed my friend trying to explain myself to her and apologise for hurting her, and I referred to my husbands earlier resistance, in fact the words I used were "he was unwilling to accommodate me", she replied with some less than nice things to say about my husband, my husband then read the email, and is very upset with me because he feels I am blaming him for me not going. The thing is, I think I am. But he said some ugly things about it last night, and he is still being awful to me, and even though I apologised to him for blaming him in the email he will not let it rest.

Between the two of them I got about three hours sleep last night, and it was not all that refreshing as I dreamt about them in that time.

My friend has informed me (all via email she wont take my calls right now) that she is not coming to my birthday on the weekend as she is too hurt and angry with me right now. I have to accept that she wont be there, I refuse to pressure her or try and make her feel guilty, but I am so close to cancelling it all. Especially as I cant be sure my husband will even be speaking civilly to me again by the weekend.

Inside I feel like I have reached crisis point, I need to take a stance, take some direction, be true to myself, but I so don't know what to do.

Family

These photos were taken on our last annual camping holiday. The light was just beautiful, and the colours reflected in the water from my family delighted me.

I am beautiful

So Happy

My first digital page. All about the look on my daughters face when she met our puppy for the first time.

Create

For a long time now I have had Photoshop Elements, and it has just sat there on the computer waiting for me. Every now and then I would attempt to work it out, but it defeated me over and over again.

Finally I have taken some action, I have started an online course with Jessica Sprague (who is fantastic!) and I have begun to create :-)

So this blog is to keep a record of my digital scrapbook creations. I hope you enjoy them.

Digi pages as promised

My first digiscrap created using a kit from Jessica Sprague's course, my daughter the day she met our long awaited puppy.



My second layout, photos from our last summer's camping holiday.

Digi love

Can I tell you how much I am loving Jessica Sprague and the Photoshop course I am doing on line with her. I can believe how easy she makes it, and how addicted I am becoming right now.

Anyone who is keen to learn more about Photoshop should check out her website, I will definitely take another class when this one is done.

I will post a copy of my first layout when I get home from work.

Wanna get dirrty

So how dirty???

Filthy... oh get your minds out of the gutter I am talking about good honest old dirt, all right there was some of the other stuff too, I mean it was a weekend away from the kids after all ;-)

Friday started off fairly hectically, there was dropping the kids at school, half a day of work, picking the kids up, dropping the dog at the Pet Palace, kids to Grandmas house, packing the car etc etc, but finally by about 3pm we were on our way. We only took one wrong turn, which is pretty good for us, mind you the other two cars travelling with us had both been to this place before, yet somehow I get to be the navigator, site unseen. I hate that.

The first campground was lovely, set on the Tuross River, and very quiet, we were the only ones there until well after dark, and then only one more party arrived, and promptly ate and went to bed. I kept looking around wondering what was different, but it was just there were no people whining "muuuummmm" oh lovely!

The next day we were off to Bendethera in the Deua National Park. 23 kilometres of goat track, 2 hours duration, very rocky, very steep, and the best part - the flat tyre we got about two thirds of the way in. Thankfully there was no other traffic trying to get in or out, because there was no room to pass us on the track, unless you could fly. So we stayed calm, changed the tyre, then crept slowly down the rest of the track, I of course being paranoid that now we had no usable spare tyre another one would blow and I would be sleeping on the mountain lol.

I love Bendethera, I will post photos later in the week once I download my photos, but it comes as close to heaven on earth for me. The only drawback, the flies have already discovered it this season, and they suck.

Coming home was another goat track, this time with ski jump, and slalom like parts thrown in for good measure. 48 kms, 4.5 hours. Now I am a fairly gutsy kind of girl, up for a challenge, not afraid of physical kind of stuff, but my fingerprints are now permanently imprinted in the hand rail on my door in the car - kind of intense. Especially because my darling husband forgot to put in the tyre repair kit, so our spare tyre was basically useless if we were to get another flat! Just a little too much stress for moi. We both agreed later that it was a risk we shouldn't have taken, our travelling companions assured us they would be with us, and help out if anything went wrong, but they neglected to accurately remember the state of the track, and how long it would actually take to travel that far!

But alls well that end well right?! Our friends also brought along the most fabulous device ever invented for campers, the portable HOT WATER HEATER and shower tent!!! so I was able to shower once we set up camp the second night, and man it felt so so so good. I have a long wish list of camping equipment, and it is right at the top :-)

So there is the rundown, my fingernails are nearly clean underneath, and I will post pictures later. Hope you had a great weekend too.

xxx

Stolen from the travelling tart...

I know I would probably win the most boring blogger award around about now. There is lots going on in my life, and I am finding hard to find the words and the time to get it all here. So for now here is a me-me that I stole from the gorgeous Zanna (Hi Zanna - waves and grins) and I will promise to attempt a posting of some substance in the not too distant future.


1.YOUR ROCK STAR NAME (first pet & current car)

Kelly Commodore

2.YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (fave ice cream flavor, favorite cookie)

Chocolate Choc Chip

3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)

Green Dolphin

4. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (Last 2 letters of my surname name and first two letters of my first name; use whatever names you like also and where they came from)

WhiJo

5. SUPERHERO NAME: (”The” + 2nd favorite color, favorite drink)

The Purple Cruiser

6. NASCAR NAME: (the first names of your grandfathers)

Jack Domenique

7. TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME: (Your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter)

Dobson Detroit

8. SPY NAME: (your favorite season/holiday, flower)

Autumn Freesia

9. CARTOON NAME: (favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now + “ie” or “y”)

Mango Track Dackie

10. HIPPY NAME: (What you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree)

Just Right Tallowood

11. YOUR ROCKSTAR TOUR NAME: (”The” + Your fave hobby/craft, fave weather element + “Tour”)

The Photography Thunderstorm Tour

Runners Up

Thanks for the good vibes for my son's football grand final. Unfortunately they were not the best team on the day. They were beaten by a better side, but they could all hold their heads up at the end of the day for the effort they put in.

The proudest moment of the day for me was seconds after the final whistle blew, I knew my son was disappointed, but he turned straight to the boy he was playing against and held out his hand to say congratulations, then continued around the field and shook hands with every other boy on the opposing team.

I am not sure quite how I managed it, but I somehow did something right with that one ;-) Man I love that kid!

Ah I remember

I am not very good at doing stuff like housework, I hate ironing, folding, washing dishes etc just like most people I guess. But unfortunately as a mother of three and wife of one, and tolerater of a furry friend I have no choice, I have to do it. So in order to take my mind off how much I don't want to do it I usually have some form of entertainment going at the same time, music, dvd, television, or a long conversation on the telephone.

I had been watching Sex & the City on dvd, because I am the only woman in the western world it seems who didn't watch it on the TV the first time around. I tried, but I just couldn't get into it. Gotta tell you I am loving it now, and wondering what was wrong with me when I first watched it, but that's a story for another day.

Anyway the dvd store was all out of S&TC last week, so I had to find something else. My gorgeous, beloved, beautiful sister gave me the first season of Greys Anatomy on dvd for my birthday last year, and of course I have watched it, but it was a while ago, so I slipped the first disk in while I was ironing the other night.

Ah... I remember. That's why I will watch the next season even though, as I commented a while back, I thought I was losing the love for it. I have even found I like Meredith again, because I was really starting to dislike her, And Christina, undiluted and ambitious, before she put herself under Burkes thumb.

Cant wait to do more ironing so I can sink into it again. Um, maybe... some people iron underpants don't they? and sheets, and towels... I'll have the flattest stuff in the neighbourhood lol.

And a quick last note - Number one son's AFL team made the Grand Finals this year, they play this Saturday at 9.15am, so if anyone has some luck to spare, please send it to his team, because they are going to need it! Keep your fingers crossed for me.

xxx

Those pics I was promising

A few posts back I mentioned pictures, and because I am stuffed today, I will just give you a picture post rather than trying to think of coherent sentences ;-)


Lovingly hand made invitations to my baby's birthday party (slapped together after nearly a bottle of wine, I was lucky they had the right details on them lol)

My "baby" posing with the party food in her brand new party dress (Thanks Grandma!)and a lovely necklace made for her by her big sister. We had fairy bread, cupcakes, popcorn, party pies, sausage rolls, freddo frogs, m and m's, and a yummy chocolate cake with yellow icing - her choice, and these really cool little butterflies made of icing that you can get in the supermarket, made by Greens. YUM. She had the time of her life.

The manchurians pears lining the street where I go for my daily walk. They were all in blossom two weeks ago, now it looks like there is snow on the ground where all the petals have fallen. We have just planted one of these trees in our back yard, I cant wait till it gets as big as these, probably only have to wait about ten years lol.

The path leading back to our house. Its really nice to live in a place that feels like the country, but with all of the good things a city has to offer as well.

Just one of the 133 photos my middle child took of our dog a few weekends ago when she had custody of my camera.

xx

One minutes silence

For all those whose lives were touched on this day ...

Oh Pooh

Ha ha this was funny. Pooh always irritated me a bit, so does that mean I irritate myself??


Take the 100 Acre Personality Quiz!

Renovating

As you can see things look a little different here at the moment, all of my links have been blasted into oblivion, so I am working on getting that happening again.

On the home front there has been a lot of work, a fair bit of exercise, bliss that the weather is warming again, a six years olds birthday party, and some moments of true happiness.

More details later, with pictures too, but right now I am at work and need to get back to things.

xxx

That's my boy

A couple of posts ago I briefly mentioned my son was sitting an exam for acceptance into the selective stream at our local high school.

I am so happy to say we got his test results and he has been offered a place. I am so proud of him. His results were awesome, the average was 54 percent, and he finished with 75 percent. This is a university set, and marked exam which covers all students in NSW. The most interesting part is that he didn't even finish answering all of the questions as he ran out of time, so he did really well with the ones he did answer.

Very happy news for our household.

Falling out of love...

Its hard to say this out loud (OK well in type) but I think I am falling out of love...

With Greys Anatomy.

I devoured the first season, waited impatiently for the second, then the third, but you know what? I am not sure I want to watch the next one. While the third season started out all right, it has for me gone badly down hill towards the end.

There have been moments that I loved. Alex and Addison - loved it. When Meredith died and we hear from Denny about how he still feels Izzie, then at the end of the episode, she feels him too - loved it.

I think it was the right time for Ellis Grey to die, and for Meredith to start to move on.

I LOOOOOOVE McSteamy, and toward the end of the season he seems more like a real person.

I also LOVE Bailey, she has got to be the best character in the entire show, she is the voice of reason, the seemingly unassailable, but she has an empathy, compassion and vulnerability that she allows to show here and there.

I am so over Mer and Der. I love McDreamy, but he needs to see that Meredith is so not right for him, he cant save her from herself, he needs to get out.

But the thing that has ruined it for me is the George/Izzie/Callie thing. I mean George. If you were looking for a leading man to put into a love triangle would you really think George?!? Well I wouldn't. I just cant see a girl like Izzie being infatuated with George, and I cant see a girl like Callie being infatuated with him either. Both of them are successful, independent, gorgeous women, and he... well he is just George. Sorry people I am just not believing this one. I don't see any chemistry, I cant be convinced that this is right. I think Katherine Heigle is doing a fantastic job as Izzie don't get me wrong, but the idea is just not believable for me.

And as for Christina - what has happened to you? From the irritating, know it all, tell it straight "surgeon" to, to ... I cant even describe it, but I don't like it.

I hope they resolve these situations early in the next season, because it is killing the love for me.

The Boy Wizard

I promise, no spoilers here, but I just wanted to comment on my feelings about the end of the Harry Potter era. I was extremely disappointed when the sixth book came out to accidentally see spoilers on the Internet before I had read the book myself so I wont be letting any plot details slip.

To sum it up I felt very satisfied with book seven. There were moments in the book that were a little lost, and there were moments that were quite rushed, but overall I was really happy to see things finished up the way they were.

There were certainly moments of shock too. A number of small details I let slip to my son before he started reading, because I was concerned at the speed in which they happened in the book, with no chance for him to prepare himself. And yes I know in real life that is the way it happens, if someone dies or is involved in an horrific accident it usually comes out of the blue, but as an adult I have had experience with dealing with that type of thing. My son, at age 11 never has. He has already put the book down on a few occasions, to escape the emotion, and regroup before continuing.

I am one of those people who get very involved in the books they are reading, and the films, or TV shows they watch. Once I picked up the book on Monday, I was a goner, I had to keep on reading to the end, I even cancelled my yoga class (not something I do lightly) because I needed to keep reading. Harry has been a part of my life for a long time now, to me he almost felt real, so I can imagine how it is for younger readers. I am now waiting for my son to finish reading so that I can go through it again at leisure, and really immerse myself in the book, the first reading for me was rather frenzied and I am sure there was lots of detail that I missed.

Has anyone else read it?

If anyone wants to have a discussion on it feel free to leave me a comment, that way we can get into detail if we want, and anyone who hasn't read it can simply steer clear of the comments and not have the suspense spoiled.

I am a little sad now that the series has ended, but the true beauty of books is that the stories are always there, just waiting between the pages :-)

Paul Potts, the story continues

As Crankybeereminded me, there was more to the story of Paul Potts who I posted about previously. Most of you have probably heard, he won the competition, but I thought I would just add the clips of his semi final and final performances if anyone is interested. This whole story just touches me deeply.

The first one is the Semi finals, the second the finals, enjoy.

I'm it!

Ok I've been tagged by the fabulous Zanna.

Aim of the game is a one word response - so here goes

1. Where is your cellphone? Desk

2. Relationship? Challenging

3. Your Hair? Independant

4. Work? Interesting

5. Your Sister? Bestfriend

6. Your Favourite Thing? Camera

7. Your dream last night? Weird (there were bloggers in it ??)

8. Your Favourite Drink? Cowboy

9. Your Dream Car? Mazda6

10. The room you are in? Office

11. Your Shoes? Comfortable

12. Your Fears? Snakes

13. What do you want to be in 10 years? Travelling

14. Who did you hang out with this weekend? Family

15. What are you not good at? Decisions

16. Muffin? Maybe (if it has chocolate or blueberries)

17. Wish list item? DigitalSLR

18. Where you grew up? Sydney

19. The last thing you ate? Toast

20. What are you wearing? Jumper (its really cold here)

21. What are you not wearing? bikini (like I said its really cold here)

22. Your pet? Dog (Milo)

23. Your computer? Lifeline

24. Your life? Evolving

25. Your mood? Tired

26. Missing? Sophie (lives on other side of the country)

27. What are you thinking about? Holidays

28. Your Car? Big

29. Your kitchen? Comfort

30. Your summer? Camping

31. Your favourite colour? pinkpurplegreen (OK just call me indecisive)

32. Last time you laughed? Today

33. Last time you cried? Tuesday(Close friend had baby placed with her for adoption after 2 year wait)

34. School? Fun

35. Love? Family

So now who am I going to tag - I think nearly everyone I read has already done this, so I wont tag anyone, but if you havent done it, you're it, leave me a comment to let me know if you decide to have a go?

xxx

Have you seen this

I actually breathed in a sob half way through watching this.

Alls well that ends well

For those of you who prefer not to read other peoples whinging, whining, cranky pants posts I would recommend you skip this one.













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For the rest of you... welcome to my whine


This week has been insanely busy, just the usual mum stuff, work etc. I know everyone has to cope with this kind of stuff, I'm not special in that regard, and mostly I try not to whinge too much about it, because that's life. This morning I had an episode of ... something.

The kids were late getting out of bed, and I was mean to them while I tried to hurry them out the door. Then I needed to buy a printer cartridge, and I couldn't locate the one I needed in OfficeJerks, and the sales assistant *@#$^$@*&*@#&!!!! pity he doesn't get paid on commission, cos this week he would be earning jack if his assistance to me was anything to go by. Driving away from the store I must have looked like a complete nutter yelling, and carrying on to myself in the car.

Then I went to the toy store to stock up on birthday gifts as my daughters are both attending lots of parties at the moment, and this stupid old bag was behind me in the queue to pay. while I the sales assistant rang up my purchases, then swiped my credit card stupid old bag was pushing my stuff down the counter out of her way, she was so close to me the hairs on her arms were touching me, she pushed my purse and it fell on the floor - talk about no personal space boundaries, she was so impatient to get me out of the way and have her turn. Then when I was getting in my car she was pushing by me again to get to her car so she could get out of the car park first - like she is the only person in the world who has other things to do. So I reversed out behind her, then stopped to put my seat belt on and adjust my mirrors, and made her wait before pulling out. Then she overtook me on double white lines, veering in front of a small truck that was pulling out of a drive way on the other side of the road. So I flipped her the bird and let loose another stream of colourful language.

After that I pulled over to the side of the road and sat with my head on the steering wheel wondering what the hell was wrong with me. I had other shopping to do but I decided it would be safer to just go home. All the way home I kept thinking about what I could eat when I got there, I changed my mind a dozen times. Then I pulled into my driveway and sat in the car tyring to pull myself together.

I scared myself a lot, because I wasn't hungry, yet I had a menu planned out that was going to get stuffed down my throat to make me feel better. I was still so angry and I was planning on using food to ease my anger and frustration. Right then I realised it, so binge drama was averted as I made myself more conscious of what the problem was. All my life I have been told not to display anger, to forgive and forget blah blah, and all my life I have pushed down angry feelings and denied them.

So still sitting there in the car I shut my eyes and said out loud I AM VERY ANGRY, and yes I said it very loudly. Then I waited. The sky didn't fall, there was no reaction from around me, so I said it again even louder I AM VERY VERY ANGRY!!! then I wondered if any of my neighbours could see me and I started to laugh, and suddenly I wasn't angry anymore. So I came inside, turned on the computer, started to work, and didn't eat anything.

I was exhausted after letting go of all of that anger, but I felt so much better. Now I am off to think of something nice to do for my kids this afternoon so they don't think their mother is a total cow all day everyday ;-)

For anyone who read this far - thanks, and stop laughing at me!

Ali Edwards

Just read this post on Ali Edwards blog, this woman so inspires me, I admire her and strive to emulate her, and I almost daily find something on her blog that speaks to me, whether her own words, or directions to anothers's words.

Do yourself a favour and have a read of Ali's blog, its more than just scrapbooking.

Note to the coach

This team is an Under 12 team, 12 not 21, so I don't expect to hear comments like this:

"If we lose this game because you backs aren't doing your job the forwards and midfielders can suck back a stubbie at training on Friday while you backs do the grunt work"

at half time.

These are Unders 12's so firstly, stubbies (small bottles of beer for the uninitiated) don't even enter the equation, WTF are you doing talking to my 11 year old about drinking beer at footie training?!?

Secondly, a football game is won or lost by a team, not by three or four children. If the ball makes it as far as the backs, then the midfielders and forwards have some explaining to do too because they haven't done their job properly either.

Thirdly, if the forwards had kicked goals (worth 6 points) rather than behinds (worth 1 point) we would have come out thirty points ahead at the final whistle. So it might be a good idea to work on accuracy in kicking with the boys at training, but don't yell at them for not being accurate, just help them learn to be more accurate and encourage them for the fact that even a behind is better than no points at all.

At this stage in their sports careers the idea is to encourage, to look at the game and point out better strategies for situations that have occurred. If you have any desire to have an any way decent first grade seniors team you have to make playing football fun for those who are really keen when they are 11, if its not, they wont hang around, and that would be a huge tragedy for the club long term.

As the coach, if this team loses, it is your responsibility, because you are telling them how to play, and positioning them on the field. If you play your best back as a full forward when he has never played there before, of course he will struggle for a bit.

And lastly - rotations. I have three children, every Saturday morning I get them all out of bed early so that we can make it to the playing field half an hour before the game starts - usually on the other side of town so half an hour or more drive has to be taken into account. My whole family sacrifices other things to be at the games each Saturday, if you aren't going to give my kid fair playing time, tell me beforehand, and we wont bother making the effort to be there. Please let me know if my kid is only going to get five minutes on the field. There are a whole sixty minutes in a game, my kid deserves at least one full quarter. Five minutes is an insult given that he has never missed a training session or a game, he is always on time, and he is always willing to listen and do as you instruct.

So yes, I did talk to the club management, and yes it will impact on you. But these kids deserve better than what you gave them last week. I hope this is a wake up call for you. I admire the fact that you are willing to put the time into coaching this team, yes it is a big commitment, but it is also your responsibility to put these kids above your needs - the greatest rewards will come not in holding up a trophy at the end of the season, but from the respect, admiration and friendship you will get from these kids for having lead them respectfully through the season, for encouraging them and for believing in them.


OK end of rant, thanks for listening.

Tagged

Ok so the lovely Wendy from Scrap Yourself Silly tagged me about ... well ages ago, and I am only just now getting around to it cos I have been very slack about blogging for the last few weeks. I've been reading blogs but not finding much enthusiasm to write. So here goes :)

Well, here are the tagging rules: Each player starts with 7 random facts/habits about themselves. People who are tagged need to write on their own blog about their seven things, as well as these rules. At the end of your blog, you need to choose 7 people to get tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them that they have been tagged and to read your blog!

1. I have broken four bones in my body, toe, finger, elbow and knee, with the knee being the most recent, and the most painful and still gives me the most trouble :(

2. I love to scrapbook, but I love shopping for scrapping supplies even more, and I am addicted to scrapping magazines.

3. I have a passion for romance novels and chick lit - I own lots of it, and I re read them over and over again without getting sick of them.

4. I ALWAYS cry in the sad bits of movies, books and tv shows, I also cry when I listen to sad songs, in fact I cry really easily even if it is someone telling me something sad that has happened to them. My family think its hilarious.

5. My favourite number is three, and I have three children.

6. I can scuba dive.

7. When I was in Year 9 at school my best friend and I would write romance novels under the desk during maths lessons. The teacher never caught us, and we still have the novels, and yes they are very very bad lol.

So there you have it 7 random things about me. I am not tagging anyone, because I think most people have done it now, but if anyone decided to do it, please leave me a comment and let me know so I can be sure to check out your answers too.

Cheers

Feeling better now

Thanks so much for your kind words, it helped me feel a little more normal and a little less neurotic lol to know there are other people who understand those feelings. Its funny the power of putting your thoughts out there though, once they are out of my head and in writing it allows me to stop stressing over the thoughts relentlessly, and just get on with things.

This morning I took him to the bus, all of his mates were waiting for him, he was really excited, and his teachers were all acting so normally it was easy to let go. A sign of how much closer he is to being a teenager was the fact that he grudgingly hugged me goodbye, rather than giving a heartfelt hug, but I guess a guy has to keep face in front of his mates ;-)

All of the excitement of the morning rubbed off on me a bit too, I could feel it in the air, I dont think too many of them got a good nights sleep last night, all too busy anticipating the big day. I am just glad that I wont have to spend the next four hours on the bus with them - I'd need a va1ium after that for sure!

The weekend here was really laid back, and we had RAIN! I had forgotten how lovely it was to stay inside with a good book while the rain slides down the windows outside.

Today I am volunteering in my daughters kindergarten class. I have twenty two cute little kits all made up on my scrapping desk, and KE are making Mothers Day cards after lunch today. I tried to keep the design really simple, but still cute, so hopefully they will like it. My daughter is really excited about me coming in to her classroom, so at least one of my children still wants to be known to me in public lol.

Better go now, I have lots of blog reading to catch up on before I head out. Will post pictures tomorrow of the cards we make today.

Cheers

Anxiety

You know that feeling... tight chest, rapid breathing, rolling stomach, quicksilver thoughts, and that general feeling of not feeling right?

I cant seem to shake it this week. I have spend ages each night struggling with it before falling asleep, then it is there again when I wake for just a split second before the morning mayhem starts. My son is going to school camp next Monday. He will be gone for five days and four nights. That is the longest he has ever been away from home, ever. And I am not coping with it quite as well as I thought I would.

Up until now each time he has stayed away from home he has been only a few streets away, or with his grandparents. This time he will be two hours drive away, with people I dont know, and with a couple of teachers from his school and his friends.

He is so excited, and I wish that I could share that with him, but its so hard letting go, he's my first born.

I know its stupid to get this anxious about it, and I know kids do this all the time, and they have a great time, and they come home safely, and I am being a big wuss, so feel free to tell me to take a deep breath and get a grip, because I have been saying the same thing to myself all week :) and if you feel so inclined send out a thought to the universe that my boy has the best time at camp and comes home safely. Thanks.

Addendum to the Pantry Saga

Hi I know I've been away for a while, I went to Sydney to spend a week with my family before they move out of my childhood home. There were moments of intense joy, I was able to spend time with my two newest nieces and get to know them a bit, and there were moments of sweet sadness. The home I grew up in is soon to house a new family. I am so glad I had the chance to say goodbye to the old house.

My nieces are just too beautiful for words, born in November and December last year, they are both contented happy little souls, and it was such a pleasure spending time with them.

We had a dinner last Wednesday night with my parents. The kids were all put to bed, or sent out to watch a video in the rumpus room while Mum, Dad, myself, my brother and two sisters sat down for dinner together for the first time in ages, and the last time in our old home. Usually we have all the extras, husbands and aunties and uncles and kids, this meal we decided was just for us. I am so glad we did it.

The funny thing about this is that Mum and Dad are not actually moving far, they have subdivided their block of land, and are building a new house on the new block. They will have a new street address, but will only really be just over the fence from the old house. It will seem really weird going to the new house and seeing stranger in our old backyard.

I am proud to say that while I was there I didn't do the old pantry thing. This is the pantry where all of my pantry bingeing habits started, last week it was just like any other old cupbard to me. I didn't scope it out to see what treats were lurking there. I was very proud of myself. I feel like I can leave that chapter behind me now. So to close it off I give you this:



Thats the pantry as I used to see it, and this:



The pantry as it is now, both literally and figuratively :)

Back to regular posting soon

xxx

Brief update

Not much time to post, but I wanted to check back in and give you a brief summary of my visit to the kinesiologist (Soozie). Wow she was fantastic, and it was fantastic. It became pretty clear pretty early on that I have issues with control (and not the Maxwell Smart kind). I feel like I have been under someone elses control for so much of my life, and the very few times I have taken control of my life, I have been ridiculed or put down for the choices I made.

And it wasn't because these choices were bad, they just didn't fit in with the image of me that the people around me had, it made them uncomfortable that I wasn't being reliable, predictable Joc, and I wasn't just bowing to their wishes, and taking their advice, and making them feel better about themselves in the process.... OMG catch a whiff of resentment in my words there anyone?

I have spent so much of my life trying to fit into other peoples expectations of me, that I have barely taken time to work out who I want me to be. For the past 12 months these thoughts have been simmering in my brain, the name of this blog kind of points to that, but meeting with Soozie on Monday, I found myself imaging myself as I would like to be. And I like me. I know there will be some people, mostly people from my past, who wont like me, but their opinions are becoming less and less relevant to me these days.

Each of my spikes in weight gain/loss activity have been as a result of my feeling controlled by other people or circumstances or opinions other than those of my choosing.

I have so much more I would like to say on this subject, so I will be back with another post soon when I have more time. Thanks to everyone who has commented on the pantry bingeing, I feel so much more normal knowing that other people share this problem. I have taken on everyones thoughts on this to consider.

More soon xxx

Coming out of the pantry...

Thanks you lovely people for your comments on my last post. It was good to have some different perspectives on the issue. I've spent a lot of time thinking about it since the weekend, and at this point I think some of you have identified the correct cause.

As a kid my mum was pretty strict with what we were allowed to eat, she portioned out our afternoon tea after school each day, poured out our breakfast cereal, made our lunches and our tea, all of it in the serving sizes she thought we should have. A lot of the time I still felt unsatisfied afterwards, so when she wasn't around I would sneak into the pantry and because I only had a limited window of opportunity I would scoff as much as I could of whatever I could reach.

To be honest I don't know if I ever thought of talking to her about it, or asking if I could have some more. In our house mum was the "boss", what she said was law, so asking for food other than at proper meal times just didn't happen. I was a really active teenager, I played, coached or umpired netball seven days a week, so everyday I was on the go, so maybe I wasn't getting enough food for the amount of activity I was doing. Basically I think I turned to scoffing in the pantry to avoid dealing with my mother about breaking one of her house rules.

I've always been a bit scared of confrontation (that is a whole nother post of its own lol) and I probably shirked it by hiding while I ate what I perceived was stuff I wasn't supposed to have.

I have to keep reminding myself that I am a grown up now, and if I am hungry, I am allowed to eat. I don't have to wait till everyone is gone and sneak the food in. I also need to look at how I feed my children in an effort to avoid this being a problem for them too.

Anyway must fly, thanks for reading. I'll be back with more later in the week when life is a bit quieter xxx

Am I avoiding me?

We are going out to dinner tonight, but right now I am home alone. The kids and DH have gone to pick up Grandpa from the airport, then they will come back for me and we'll go to the restaurant. It was DH's birthday on Thursday, so we decided it would be fun for us all to go out together. We don't take the kids to restaurants that often with us. (and you should see the girls with their eyeshadow and their lipstick on lol they are 5 and 8 years old!).

Anyway the reason I am posting is because as soon as I shut the door on them, and came inside I had this mad urge to eat. I am not hungry, and I know that there will be good food tonight, so I want to have enough space to enjoy it. I am not feeling sad, or stressed or anything else like that. The only thing is this, I am at home alone, and I feel like I should head straight to the pantry! Not good.

I always do this. As soon as everyone is gone, I will stand in the pantry and scoff down as much food as I can, sometimes it is "naughty" stuff, and I know there is no such thing as naughty food, but for the purposes of reference, everyone will know what I mean by naughty food, but sometimes it is just cereal or yogurt or fruit. The thing that makes it stupid is that as soon as I am alone I think I should eat. Why is this so.

I always thought I enjoyed my own company, to be honest I still think I do, but maybe I am wrong. Maybe by chowing down as soon as I am left with myself it helps me avoid myself. There's some thinking to do there.

Anyway I have caught myself today, I have spoken rationally to myself about whether I really need to eat, and instead of being in the pantry, I am here telling you guys about my weird eating habits. I still need to dry my hair, and wrangle it with the straightener, and paint my toenails, so I'll go now, but thanks for saving me from myself ;-) having you guys to tell these things to helps you know.

Have a good weekend xxx

Inspirational reading

Just browsing some blogs catching up on posts that I may have missed, or reading back through blogs I have only recently discovered when I found this post from Lisa Jane .

It spoke volumes to me, I love the way she has got inside the whole weight loss issue. I am trying to listen more to my body these days, to eat what I want, but only what I want, not just to keep stuffing myself when my body is not hungry, and working on moving more in my days.

I am sure most people who drop by here already read Lisa Jane's blog, but if you don't do yourself a favour and go for a visit.

Wow we were just hit by a huge thunderstorm. It was awesome, amazing, and a little bit scary. It was nothing like the one that swept through Canberra City last night, but incredible just the same.

I love thunderstorms. This was intense, the wind was blowing so hard I had to lean all my weight on my front door to get it closed. Outside we couldnt see the end of the driveway the rain was like a solid wall of water. Imagine a fog closing in, but it is completely made of water that lashes down.

It has passed now, from tempestuous to tranquil in forty minutes. Nature is quicksilver in her moods. Just a week ago we were bemoaning our dead lawn, now it is lush and green again.

Here are some photos taken in the city last night, I dont know who took them, it wasnt me, so if they belong to you let me know if you want me to take them down.

Progress Report - End of February

I cant believe it is the end of February already. Anyway I hopped on the scales this morning with less trepidation than I had expected yesterday and the results were:

End of January - 81.3
End of February - 81.3

Yep maintained for February Yay. I do know that in the middle of February I had gone up again, so it was a bit of an up and down month.

Last night I sat down and edited my trusty spreadsheet, I can see where I have been and where I want to go with my weight loss, and this has helped me get my mind back on track. Next time I am dithering about and going through a flat spot someone remind me to open my spreadsheet, it seems to help me focus lol. Yes I am a bit of a geek like that, I love plans and graphs, all that type of thing, that's not to say I am really good at sticking to them, but I love making them.

I think the difference for me in the last week has been upping my veggie intake, and drinking a truckload of water. I feel so much better when I am drinking more water, but the dumb thing is I forget that when I am going through one of my unmotivated periods, and so I feel even worse, and unmotivated because i am so dehydrated. One day it will all click for me surely. The biggest hurdle I fact these days is that I am so bloody forgetful, and get easily distracted, so I forget to drink my water, and I get off plan easily when something else catches my attention. That's one of the things I complain about with my kids, its obvious where they got it from lol.

Also did some scrapping last night, I am trying out 8.5 x 11 formats for a change. I am trying to fit my scrapping vision into my own personal style, for a long time now I have copied lots of different styles, but I think I am finally working out exactly what suits me, that makes me happy.

Growing up is such a trial - but I am sure it will be worth it in the end ;-)

New career perhaps?

Ever noticed how often no blogging correlates directly to no forward movement on the weight loss endeavours?

Well that has been me lately. I haven't blogged regularly for weeks now, although I have been reading other peoples blogs when I can find time, and I haven't been losing any weight either. I'm not sure where the scales are at now, last time I weighed was over a week ago and I was back up to 83.5 after having been down as far as 81.something ( I think it was 81.9), so more than 1.5kg gain since the beginning of the year.

I cant believe how difficult I have found it to just do the right thing for the last few weeks! I am not eating really badly at the moment, but my exercise as been sporadic. My knee is playing up again, funnily enough when there is rain around town. You know how your old Grandpa used to tell you it was going to rain, he could feel it in his bones, or his arthritis, or his bad leg etc, well I gotta tell you I think old grandpa was right. We have had months of dry dry weather, no moisture in the air at all, and I have had months of problem free knee. In the last two weeks we have experienced RAIN, yes rain, and I have had PAIN, yes pain in my knee. Weird pain, aching and sort of feels tight like it is swollen, except it doesn't look swollen.

Maybe I can travel the world predicting rain now, makes for an interesting career move. I might be more successful at that than I have been at the weight loss lately.

Still I am not despairing, I know I will lose it, I just need to work on the one step at a time process. Earlier this year Dietgirl wrote that she will see her goal this year, even if she just loses one pound a week, so based on that theory, I will see my goal this year too - just one pound a week, surely that's not too much to handle.

M.I.A

This is a really quick post to say I am flat out at the moment, I'm still reading your blogs, but not having much time to comment or write any posts myself.

Bloggest Loser week 2 - My house is much cleaner than last week, I even have progress shots which I will endeavour to post later this week.

Weight loss progress - gone in reverse a little over the last two weeks, have managed to gain around a kilo - blah. But its not the end of the world, and I will lose it again before too long.

Kids have settled in at school very nicely, and I am now trying to adjust to working four days a week instead of two. I think I like two better!!

Hope everyone is well, and I will resume more regular posting very soon.

xx

What really counts

Sometimes it takes something like this to remind me about what really counts in life, its not all about counting p0ints, its not all about counting kgs, yes those things can factor in somewhere, but thats not what its really all about.

Click Here to see what I mean

I am ALONE

and OMG it is great! No, nothing bad has happened,its just that my baby started school last Wednesday, and this morning is the first morning I have been able to stay at home while her Dad takes her to school along with her brother and sister. I stood in the driveway in my pj's while she waved madly from the backseat of the car, all the while grinning from ear to ear, she has been busting to go to school with the big kids for so long, and I waved back. Then I walked in to the house looked around and thought

I am alone.

The feeling is almost intoxicating ;-)

It has been nearly twelve years since I have been home alone. I know I must sound really silly to some, but I wasn't expecting to feel so good about it. Last Wednesday when I took her to school for the first day I wondered if I would feel a bit sad that my baby was leaving, but I didn't, well only for about ten seconds when I realised that she has the same teacher that my son had when he started at the school, and who is undoubtedly the best teacher in the school to have as your first ever teacher. Other than that I was just really excited for her, she has been so looking forward to school. As she is the youngest of three children she has watched the other two go off to school everyday for her whole life, and spent the whole year last year asking how long until I start school. She has taken to it like a duck to water, and that makes me very happy.

The older two also have great teachers this year, and they are also settling in really well. I can only hope it is a great year for all of them.

Now onto our other scheduled events.

Holidays:

Just brilliant, very relaxing, great weather, we all enjoyed it immensely. A more comprehensive post on this coming soon.

Husband:

Well the aliens have been here again and given me back the model I paid for. Our holiday did him the world of good, he is so much more relaxed and happy right now, and has been such a pleasure to be around. Obviously I need to make sure he takes holidays much more often during the year, then I might stand a chance of keeping this nice husband lol.

Weight Loss:

Managed a modest loss over my holiday which I am thrilled about. Will give a more comprehensive update on this one too in the next few days.

Creating:

Finished the scrapbook pages I needed to do for my parents Anniversary Album in the nick of time. Had to express post them to Sydney last Thursday after staying up till very late on Wednesday completing them. So my grand total of scrap pages this year has already overtaken last years total (which was abysmal). Also went to a Stampin Up party yesterday - OMG I am hooked, the products are just beautiful, and all colour coordinated ... drool... I put in a rather large order, and am itching to get it back so that I can start playing.

Have also been working on creating some ideas with Rachael regarding a small business opportunity that may pan out for us. So my ability to think creatively is beginning to expand after being stifled for the past few years.

So I have been really busy in the last two weeks, and the year is lining up to continue in that vein, but in such a good way. I have started catching up on all my favourite blog reading, but haven't commented anywhere yet, there are so many of you with so much going on that I don't know where to start.

Hope everyone has a great week lined up, I will be back soon to fill in a few more details etc.

xx

Holiday Time

This will be my last post for two weeks as we are off on a camping holiday with the kids. I am planning to enjoy myself, but also to stay close to on track while we are away. We are camping at the beach so there's the option of long walks on the beach, swimming, bodysurfing, snorkelling and beach cricket to keep me active, and I'm in charge of the food so I can pack heaps of healthy stuff.

Cant wait to go, just not looking forward to the packing, and camp setup. Once that's done the rest will be great.

Take care, I'll be back in February :-))

ABC

Have seen this around a bit lately, thought I'd give it a go

A is for age: 39
B is for Beer: Not a beer drinker rather have a Cruiser
C is for Career: Office Manager/Mother/Wife
D is for my Dog's Name: Milo
E is for Essential Item I Use Everyday: Moisturiser
F is for Favourite T.V. Show: Greys Anatomy and Charmed
G is for Favorite Game: Yahtzee
H is for Hometown: Sydney, although I have adopted Canberra now after 14 years.
I is for Instruments I Play: Piano - very rusty
J is for Favourite Juice: Apple and Pear
K is for Whose Butt I'd Like To Kick: My middle sister
L is for the Last Place I Ate Out: The Hyatt Hotel, Canberra
M is for Marriage: 12 years this March
N is for Name: Jocelyn, Joc, Jossie, Boss!
O is for Overnight Hospital Stays: 1986 - appendicitis, 1995, 1998, 2001 - birthing children
P is for People I was With Today: My youngest daughter.
Q is for Quote: "Just do it”
R is for Biggest Regret: Not following my own advice often enough
S is for Sport: Walking, gym, karate (hopefully soon again) swimming
T is for Time I Woke Up Today: 7.15am (kids slept over at a friends ;)
U is for Current Underwear: Pink satin
V is for Vegetable You Love: tomatoes, olives
W is for Worst Habit: being lazy about exercising
X is for X-rays I Have Had: Teeth, elbow, ankle, shoulder, pelvis, back, knee, hand
Y is for Yummy Food You Ate Today: Feta cheese
Z is for Zodiac: Scorpio

Cheers

Progress Report Week 10

I ROCK!!

I was hopeful when I stepped on the scales this morning, but ... you know what its like, you think you will have a loss but you are terrified that something bad happened over night and instead you gained 2kgs, anyway I stepped on the scales and shut my eyes just in case, when I finally peeked there it was...

I lost 1.2kg this week yipee!!!

So that blew away my horrid little Christmas/NYE gain and put me firmly in a good place to achieve my January goals. YAY ME!

Previous Weight - 83.2kg
Lost 1.2kg
Current Weight - 82kg

Today I am happy. I started tracking again last week, which I think has made the biggest difference to the previous weeks.

I did have a few treats, in particular I went to High Tea at the Hyatt Hotel in Canberra - lush, I am looking for another excuse to do this as it was so beautiful, I will post about it when I get around to downloading the photos from my camera.

We have also had fresh apricots from my FIL's tree. They go bad really quickly in the heat so I stewed them and we have been eating them for dessert each night, I pour a tiny amount of cream on them about the size of a ten cent piece, swish them around so the cream touches each piece then I slowly eat them, I only have about two apricots all up, but I make sure they take about fifteen minutes to eat so that I can savour them - so good.

And there's been more cooking with the my little one. This time it was choc chip cookies, and man were they good. I'll post more on this later too cos I took photos (my kids think its hilarious that I take photos of most of the food we cook) and they came out all round and chocolaty, and chippy, and just like the pictures in the book. I was so proud. Usually my cookies taste great, but they never look like the ones in the book lol.

All things told, week 10 has been a pretty good week here, and I'm looking forward to Week 11

xx

Chocolatey Goodness

I know that this is probably a little out of place on a blog used primarily to journal about my weight loss, but how could I resist! My youngest daughter received a cook book from Santa, she loves cooking and is often in the kitchen helping me at tea time even though she is only 5. So today was her first chance to choose a recipe from her new book and do some cooking. Of course she choose something primarily made of chocolate and saturated fat, but it looks pretty good, and the smell while it was cooking - heaven.... sorry just had to wipe the drool off the keyboard. Thankfully the kids will make short work of this one so I wont be tempted for too long ;-)

OK one good motherly deed for the day done two to go lol

More Creating

Not as happy with these pages as with the first two, but I like them all the same. I only realised after I had put it all together that I am missing a photo of my dads sister, so will have to find a creative way of adding that later :-)

Wow thats four pages for 2007 so far. The next two could be harder because I have to change the layout to something completely different, which requires a bit more thinking. These photos are all of my dads family, his parents and brothers, I am really enjoying looking back at our family history while I am working on this project, theres so much that hasnt been recorded and some of it is so fascinating, I really need to spend time with my dad getting all of it down on paper so that I can pass it on to my kids and grandkids

2007 - Create

I don't do New Years resolutions, so I haven't really thought of a great pile of specific things I'm going to change this year. I already made the commitment to getting fit and healthy and losing weight at the end of last year, and thankfully my motivation seems to have returned home after yesterdays post, almost like it knew I was talking about it (its ears must have been burning or something). So I have been thinking about what I would like to achieve this year.

I grew up in a household where we didn't set goals, and all through my schooling etc, it was never something we talked about or witnessed in an obvious way. I am sure there were girls at my school who set their goals and achieved them, but my personal friends were a lot like me, most of us wanted to grow up, get married to some spunk, and have kids. And so that's basically what I did. I never had big career aspirations, I was never really passionate about anything other than having kids.

I have since developed some passions, and in retrospect have found there were other things that really lit me up inside, I was just never encouraged to think that I could do anything with those things. I have always been passionate about horses, I used to ride the neighbours horses, then when there was no riding, I would feed them, brush them, clean up after them, talk to them, or just sit on the fence and watch them, but my parents never had the money for us to have horses of our own, so once my neighbours moved I was left horseless until I was old enough to pay for my own horse riding.

I was also passionate about photography, I used to carry my dad's old SLR around with me everywhere! I am not in so many photos because I was usually behind the camera. My brother followed on from me with the love of photography, and while I was at home bringing up babies he managed to start earning a little extra money from photography. He cant support himself on his photography, but he loves it none the less, and does it in his spare time. I am currently lusting after a Canon 400D digital SLR, which I am hoping will appear for my birthday this year, then I want to go wild taking photos, and learning all I can to become a better photographer.

One of my earlier jobs BC (before children) involved teaching others to use Desktop Publishing and other graphics software. You know what - I loved that too. I also was introduced to Scrap booking 6 years ago - total love! Then my life got so busy with three small kids that I let that fall by the wayside too.

As well as all that I have in the past, sewn, knitted, embroidered, stitched, done woodwork, pottery, beading... lots of crafty things. And you know what, I loved all of them, I loved that feeling of creating, of taking something and changing it to fit my vision. It wasn't always a good vision lol, but it was my vision, and I felt a sense of real satisfaction to look at what I had created.

The last few years have been barren creatively for me, so much so that I have lost much confidence in my ability to be creative. Linda posted about giving your new year a theme, and I really like that idea, so I am borrowing it for myself. So I have decided this year will be a year of creativity for me.

And to kick it off, I have finished my first scrapping layout for 2007. It is part of an album my sisters and I are making for my parents 40th Wedding Anniversary, and will document the story of their lives as we know it. Please excuse the dodgy photos, I am still grappling with my scanner when it comes to scanning 12 by 12 inch layouts, something I plan to master by the end of 2007 the year of creativity :-)

Progress Report Week 8 & 9

If only good intentions were the answer sigh...

I completely neglected to remember to substitute water for alcohol over the Christmas period, in fact for about five days in a row I drank copious amounts of alcohol, cringe, but I was happy while it was happening lol.

Then there was the matter of tracking, well I didnt do that either.

As for what I ate, it wasnt too bad all things told. I only overate at two meals, and that was a splurge on dips, cheese and crackers both times. The other eating wasnt too bad.

I DID walk every day from the 24th to today for at least half an hour, so my exercise didnt suffer too badly.

So in summary the eating wasnt too bad, the exercise wasnt too bad, the tracking was non existant, and the alcohol... lets just say that January is going to be a dry month ;-)

Last weigh in - 82.6kg
Xmas Gain - 600g
Current weight - 83.2kg

So for December I have managed to gain 300g :-(

So bring on January, the festivities are over, and its time to get back to the program again, if only I could remember where I put that pesky motivation... I know its around here somewhere... umm maybe its under the bed...

Oh you're still here? sorry I'll say ta ta for now and go find where I left my motivation, and I'll be back soon :-)