Hi there, I know, its been ages and I cant really explain why other than to say that I needed a break, and I needed to get some perspective on a few things. I cant say I have found all of the answers I was seeking, but I feel like I am moving in the right direction.
Last weekend something happened to us that really pin pointed a need in me to make changes. Real changes, not just the ones that I talk about a lot, do for a little while then run out of steam with. The story will probably get long, and there will be pictures, so settle in if you are interested ;-)
Background.
13 years or more ago my husband and I went to a Camping Show and I started collecting brochures about Camper Trailers. In the following years we gathered a huge range of camping equipment, and I religiously checked for updates on Camper Trailer sites and attended Camping Shows. You might say I was a little obsessed about it :-D
I love camping, and we go often. We have survived for ages with our various tents, but I have always hated setting up and packing away, thus my obsession with camper trailers.
Anyway last month, after much deliberating and searching we bought a camper trailer. It was pre loved, and exactly what we needed. Can you spell H A P P Y, that was me!
Last Weekend.
The weekend just gone was the Labour Day weekend in NSW, so we had a public holiday on the Monday. For the past six years we have gone camping with a group of friends for this weekend. This year was no different. We drove to Jervis Bay on the beautiful NSW South Coast, and we set up our camper trailer for the first time. It was awesome! so much quicker and easier than the tent.
We cooked tea, we settled in with our friends for some of the usual camping fun, drinking wine, eating cheese and crackers and talking. Good times.
At about ten I decided it was time for bed, so said goodnight and trundled off. Sometime later my husband came to bed too, and we both fell asleep.
At 3.15 am I was woken by the most horrible noise:
a loud cracking
the screeching of metal
tearing sounds
and the sound of my husband screaming
The trailer was buffeted back and forth, and we were tossed sideways in bed. Then everything went quiet, and I found myself gripping onto my husband while we asked each other if we were all right. Then I asked him what happened?
He told me that a tree had fallen on us.
Well he was half right, it was actually a branch, which weighed about half a tonne not the entire tree, and it had hit his arm as it had fallen. Thankfully he was only badly bruised and his arm is OK.
I helped him rip the canvas open further and he raced out to see if the children were OK. I stayed where I was until I knew, I did not want to find them if the worst had happened.
My youngest daughter had set her tent up right beside the camper trailer and her tent was flattened, but thankfully she had opted to share her sisters tent at the last moment before going to bed, and both her sister, and her brothers tents were untouched. My children were safe, and the girls didn't even feel curious enough to come out of the tents when they heard the noise, in fact they both said they didn't hear anything, and they only woke up when all the people started arriving around us.
People arrived from everywhere. One of our friends helped me out of the trailer, then we all stood just staring in shock. Almost everyone there commented that they couldn't believe we escaped unscathed.
We moved the children to another tent away from the scene, then needless to say none of us could sleep so we sat together for the remaining hours of night. My husband and I were both in shock unable to believe what had nearly happened.
Many people told me to buy a lottery ticket, because it must be my lucky day, my response was that a million dollars would never have the same value to me as the moment I had been able to hold my whole family knowing how close we had come to meeting our maker.
It is possible after this kind of experience to feel angry, to say Why Me? and to dwell on the negative aspects. For me I am looking at it as the luckiest day of my life, the day I could have died but didn't. The day my husband could have died, but didn't. We are very very lucky.
It has given me pause to look at my life, to evaluate my past my present and my future. It has given me reason to think about living with purpose, about living every day as if it were my last, because I know now how easily it could be.
I have some photos, but blogger wont let me upload them right now, I will try again later, you can see the tree the branch fell from, you can see the mangled metal frame of our trailer tent, and the ripped canvas, and the smashed kitchen. Its a mess. The trailer though is still intact and completely unharmed, we cut off the canvas and towed it home and are beginning the process of rebuilding. If we had been in our old tent we would definitely be dead. The metal frame of the trailer although now resembling a pretzel took the weight of the fall and protected us from harm. The only damage was my husbands left arm where the branch hit him as it came past, this was why he screamed, he knew the branch was falling on us and when it hit him he was terrified and didn't expect to make it.
I think my heart may have stopped beating for a millisecond.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Friday, June 27, 2008
Monday, June 16, 2008
Long time no layouts
Yes I know its been a while, I've been busy.
So here are two more pages created in Photoshop Elements 5.0 during my course with Jessica Sprague. All papers embelishments etc courtesy of JessicaSprague.com
I start another course this week, so there should be more digital goodness to upload soon.
So here are two more pages created in Photoshop Elements 5.0 during my course with Jessica Sprague. All papers embelishments etc courtesy of JessicaSprague.com
I start another course this week, so there should be more digital goodness to upload soon.
Monday, June 2, 2008
Some randomness about me
Nicked this one from Zanna, just a few things about me.
1. What is in the back seat of your car right now? Crumbs, lolly wrappers and other stuff that clues a person into the fact that I am a taxi service to my kids.
2. When was the last time you threw up? About a year ago after mucho red wine - not good.
3. What’s your favorite curse word? Probably the F one, although have been known to use others.
4. Name three people who made you smile today. Does grimacing in an attempt to portray patience count? My kids of course ;-)
5. What were you doing at 8am this morning? Convincing the baby that she wanted to go to school today.
6. What were you doing 30 minutes ago? Reading emails.
7. What will you be doing 3 hours from now? The after school madness, snacks, homework, etc.
8. Have you ever been to a strip club? Yes, never laughed so much in all my life.
9. What’s the last thing you said aloud? OK, I'll check it out, bye. (to my husband on the phone)
10. What is the best ice cream flavor? Hard to beat chocolate.
11. What is the last thing you had to drink? Coffee.
12. What are you wearing right now? Red and grey fleece, black gym pants and my uggs.
13. What was the last thing you ate? Salt and vinegar chips (cringe).
14. Have you bought any new clothing items this week? No
15. When was the last time you ran? Properly, two and a half years ago, before the knee incident.
16. What’s the last sporting event you watched? Friday night AFL - my son played under lights last week. They won 106 to 28. Good stuff.
17. Who’s the last person you e-mailed? My five friends from high school, we are trying to organise a weekend away together, but finding a date to suit all of us is proving tricky.
18. Ever go camping? Yes, every summer as often as possible.
19. Do you have a tan? Yes, it never seems to go away.
20. Do you drink your soda from a straw? No.
21. Are you someone’s best friend? Yes - the lovely Sohpie.
22. What are you doing tomorrow? working for Magnum PI (well Jim the PI actually, but he has got a mustache like Magnum so that's what I call him ;)
23. Where is your mom right now? In Sydney, most likely sewing.
24. Look to your left. My husbands "filing" system lol, I try not to look at it too often.
25. What color is your watch? Black and silver.
26. What comes to mind when you think of Australia? HOME.
27. Would you consider plastic surgery? Undecided.
28. What is your birthstone? Topaz.
29. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive-thru? So rare to go there.
30. How many kids do you want? I've got 3 and that's plenty.
31. Do you have a dog? Yes - the irrepressible Milo.
32. Last person you talked to on the phone. My husband.
33. Have you met anyone famous? No.
34. Any plans today? Keeping warm.
35. Ever go to college? No.
36. Where are you right now? Sitting at the computer at my desk at home.
37. Biggest annoyance in your life right now? My lack of healthy eating motivation maybe (I just copied Zanna's answer here, cos it's true for me too)
38. Last song listened to? Holy Graile - Hunters and Collectors.
39. Are you allergic to anything? Bandaids.
40. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time? Black Colorados with chunky soles that I have had for more years than I care to remember.
41. Are you jealous of anyone? No.
42. Who is your favorite actor/actress? - Jennifer Garner - her smile is so infectious I feel like I would really like her in real life too.
43. What time is it? 12.46pm Monday 2nd June 2008
44. Do any of your friends have children? Oh yes
45. Do you eat healthy? Ask me again tomorrow (see answer to question 13!
46. What do you usually do during the day? Work.
47. How old will you be on your next birthday? 41
48. Have you ever been to Europe? Yes.
49. Name one thing you’d still like to do. Travel extensively in Australia and overseas.
50. Favorite colour? Green.
There you go, some random bits and pieces about me.
xxx
1. What is in the back seat of your car right now? Crumbs, lolly wrappers and other stuff that clues a person into the fact that I am a taxi service to my kids.
2. When was the last time you threw up? About a year ago after mucho red wine - not good.
3. What’s your favorite curse word? Probably the F one, although have been known to use others.
4. Name three people who made you smile today. Does grimacing in an attempt to portray patience count? My kids of course ;-)
5. What were you doing at 8am this morning? Convincing the baby that she wanted to go to school today.
6. What were you doing 30 minutes ago? Reading emails.
7. What will you be doing 3 hours from now? The after school madness, snacks, homework, etc.
8. Have you ever been to a strip club? Yes, never laughed so much in all my life.
9. What’s the last thing you said aloud? OK, I'll check it out, bye. (to my husband on the phone)
10. What is the best ice cream flavor? Hard to beat chocolate.
11. What is the last thing you had to drink? Coffee.
12. What are you wearing right now? Red and grey fleece, black gym pants and my uggs.
13. What was the last thing you ate? Salt and vinegar chips (cringe).
14. Have you bought any new clothing items this week? No
15. When was the last time you ran? Properly, two and a half years ago, before the knee incident.
16. What’s the last sporting event you watched? Friday night AFL - my son played under lights last week. They won 106 to 28. Good stuff.
17. Who’s the last person you e-mailed? My five friends from high school, we are trying to organise a weekend away together, but finding a date to suit all of us is proving tricky.
18. Ever go camping? Yes, every summer as often as possible.
19. Do you have a tan? Yes, it never seems to go away.
20. Do you drink your soda from a straw? No.
21. Are you someone’s best friend? Yes - the lovely Sohpie.
22. What are you doing tomorrow? working for Magnum PI (well Jim the PI actually, but he has got a mustache like Magnum so that's what I call him ;)
23. Where is your mom right now? In Sydney, most likely sewing.
24. Look to your left. My husbands "filing" system lol, I try not to look at it too often.
25. What color is your watch? Black and silver.
26. What comes to mind when you think of Australia? HOME.
27. Would you consider plastic surgery? Undecided.
28. What is your birthstone? Topaz.
29. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive-thru? So rare to go there.
30. How many kids do you want? I've got 3 and that's plenty.
31. Do you have a dog? Yes - the irrepressible Milo.
32. Last person you talked to on the phone. My husband.
33. Have you met anyone famous? No.
34. Any plans today? Keeping warm.
35. Ever go to college? No.
36. Where are you right now? Sitting at the computer at my desk at home.
37. Biggest annoyance in your life right now? My lack of healthy eating motivation maybe (I just copied Zanna's answer here, cos it's true for me too)
38. Last song listened to? Holy Graile - Hunters and Collectors.
39. Are you allergic to anything? Bandaids.
40. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time? Black Colorados with chunky soles that I have had for more years than I care to remember.
41. Are you jealous of anyone? No.
42. Who is your favorite actor/actress? - Jennifer Garner - her smile is so infectious I feel like I would really like her in real life too.
43. What time is it? 12.46pm Monday 2nd June 2008
44. Do any of your friends have children? Oh yes
45. Do you eat healthy? Ask me again tomorrow (see answer to question 13!
46. What do you usually do during the day? Work.
47. How old will you be on your next birthday? 41
48. Have you ever been to Europe? Yes.
49. Name one thing you’d still like to do. Travel extensively in Australia and overseas.
50. Favorite colour? Green.
There you go, some random bits and pieces about me.
xxx
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Two Reviews
Firstly, over the past few weeks we have been watching Underbelly on DVD. We missed the start of it on the television due to karate, so we decided to wait until DVD and watch it without the ads. For those of you who don't know it is based on events in Melbourne between 1995 and 2004, in particular the "Gangland killings" featuring the Moran family, Carl Williams and others.
Having been a Sopranos devotee for a long time, and also not being very impressed by a lot of Australian TV I wasn't really expecting much, but I have to say I have been really surprised and impressed with this production. Anyone who is into that mafia, wiseguys type thing should check it out. Its quite horrible in parts, very violent, and probably not for the weak of stomach, but even so, I am really enjoying. We only have three episodes to go, and I am really looking forward to watching. The only downside is once we have seen them, that's it. Its over.
Very nasty stuff, but one of those guilty pleasures I guess. Anyone else seen it?
The second movie we saw on the weekend was No Country for Old Men. I hated it. End of review.
Maybe I am just not intellectual enough to understand it, maybe I am out of touch with what a good movie is, but honestly did anyone else appreciate it?
Having been a Sopranos devotee for a long time, and also not being very impressed by a lot of Australian TV I wasn't really expecting much, but I have to say I have been really surprised and impressed with this production. Anyone who is into that mafia, wiseguys type thing should check it out. Its quite horrible in parts, very violent, and probably not for the weak of stomach, but even so, I am really enjoying. We only have three episodes to go, and I am really looking forward to watching. The only downside is once we have seen them, that's it. Its over.
Very nasty stuff, but one of those guilty pleasures I guess. Anyone else seen it?
The second movie we saw on the weekend was No Country for Old Men. I hated it. End of review.
Maybe I am just not intellectual enough to understand it, maybe I am out of touch with what a good movie is, but honestly did anyone else appreciate it?
Friday, May 9, 2008
New Directions
Helllooo!!!
Ahhh chooo!
Hmm it’s a bit dusty around here. I guess it has been a while. So where do I start?
I have been off the blogging radar for a while, I am still reading, sometimes commenting, but I just haven’t been able to muster up the energy to update my own blog. Its not that there has been nothing going on in my life, it just hasn’t been all that interesting for anyone else except for me.
Plus, and I feel so stupid saying this, but I've been a bit embarrassed about coming back. You see I started down the path of intuitive eating, I read heaps, I discussed it here a bit, I contributed to blogs and web sites that endorsed it. But I feel like a desperate failure at it. I feel torn, because I have been trying to implement it, but all the while I have been gaining more and more weight. I jumped into IE with gusto, but in a lot of ways missed the real point of it somehow. I think there are a lot of people who go the same way as me, and I know some of the books I read claimed that to start with you will probably gain some weight when you start IE, but I am just not willing to gain anymore while I work my way through my emotional eating. I just cant go there.
Until yesterday morning, I had not stepped on the scales in 2008. I feel like that is a victory, because the scales have messed with my head so badly in the past. My clothes are getting tighter and tighter, and I have had to buy new clothes in bigger sizes. Even that I could sort of deal with, I have been becoming more accepting of myself as I am. I no longer wail and moan about having to wear a size 16, its just the way it is right now.
BUT, I feel like crap - all the time. I am lethargic, my joints ache, I get headaches, stomach aches, I have no get up and go, my sex drive has got up and gone, and I am just not happy.
So Wednesday morning I bit the bullet. I stepped on the scales. I was fairly realistic about what I would see, and my estimate was close. I came in 1.3 kgs less than the 90kgs I was expecting. So there it is 88.7kgs. Which means I have gained 5 kgs since December last year, or approximately a kilo a month. Shit.
I am happy to say that it didn’t send me into a melt down, I didn’t go straight to the pantry to feed my sorrows. In fact I am less concerned about the number than I thought I would be. I don’t plan to step on the scales now until the end of the month, but I do plan to do some other things.
Firstly, I am committing to exercising more regularly. This year exercise has been left in the "if I get time" category, and I am moving it into the "must be done first" category. I think that alone will help me to feel better.
Secondly, I am cleaning up my eating. I am not planning to diet. That for me is starting down the slippery slope of obsession, and I don’t have time in my life to obsess about anything these days, but, there are some simple changes I can make that should help make a difference.
I have spent too many years fussing with eating plans, counting points, cutting carbs etc for no long term gain, and lots of emotional upheaval. I have denied myself things I love when I want them, only to binge horribly on things that I don’t really want all because I feel resentful about missing out. So I am concentrating on moderation for now. Plenty of fresh fruit and veggies, lean meats, chicken and fish, cereal and bread, and the occasional small treat.
Sounds like common sense doesn’t it, but if there is one thing I have learned in the last ten years it is that I have nothing resembling common sense when it comes to food.
Anyway that's probably enough for now. I have started a new blog 40FitFab which will be devoted to my health and fitness, so I will post all updates on such over there. This blog will still be here, but for now I want to keep my occasional ramblings separate from my food and fitness.
Until later
xxx
Ahhh chooo!
Hmm it’s a bit dusty around here. I guess it has been a while. So where do I start?
I have been off the blogging radar for a while, I am still reading, sometimes commenting, but I just haven’t been able to muster up the energy to update my own blog. Its not that there has been nothing going on in my life, it just hasn’t been all that interesting for anyone else except for me.
Plus, and I feel so stupid saying this, but I've been a bit embarrassed about coming back. You see I started down the path of intuitive eating, I read heaps, I discussed it here a bit, I contributed to blogs and web sites that endorsed it. But I feel like a desperate failure at it. I feel torn, because I have been trying to implement it, but all the while I have been gaining more and more weight. I jumped into IE with gusto, but in a lot of ways missed the real point of it somehow. I think there are a lot of people who go the same way as me, and I know some of the books I read claimed that to start with you will probably gain some weight when you start IE, but I am just not willing to gain anymore while I work my way through my emotional eating. I just cant go there.
Until yesterday morning, I had not stepped on the scales in 2008. I feel like that is a victory, because the scales have messed with my head so badly in the past. My clothes are getting tighter and tighter, and I have had to buy new clothes in bigger sizes. Even that I could sort of deal with, I have been becoming more accepting of myself as I am. I no longer wail and moan about having to wear a size 16, its just the way it is right now.
BUT, I feel like crap - all the time. I am lethargic, my joints ache, I get headaches, stomach aches, I have no get up and go, my sex drive has got up and gone, and I am just not happy.
So Wednesday morning I bit the bullet. I stepped on the scales. I was fairly realistic about what I would see, and my estimate was close. I came in 1.3 kgs less than the 90kgs I was expecting. So there it is 88.7kgs. Which means I have gained 5 kgs since December last year, or approximately a kilo a month. Shit.
I am happy to say that it didn’t send me into a melt down, I didn’t go straight to the pantry to feed my sorrows. In fact I am less concerned about the number than I thought I would be. I don’t plan to step on the scales now until the end of the month, but I do plan to do some other things.
Firstly, I am committing to exercising more regularly. This year exercise has been left in the "if I get time" category, and I am moving it into the "must be done first" category. I think that alone will help me to feel better.
Secondly, I am cleaning up my eating. I am not planning to diet. That for me is starting down the slippery slope of obsession, and I don’t have time in my life to obsess about anything these days, but, there are some simple changes I can make that should help make a difference.
I have spent too many years fussing with eating plans, counting points, cutting carbs etc for no long term gain, and lots of emotional upheaval. I have denied myself things I love when I want them, only to binge horribly on things that I don’t really want all because I feel resentful about missing out. So I am concentrating on moderation for now. Plenty of fresh fruit and veggies, lean meats, chicken and fish, cereal and bread, and the occasional small treat.
Sounds like common sense doesn’t it, but if there is one thing I have learned in the last ten years it is that I have nothing resembling common sense when it comes to food.
Anyway that's probably enough for now. I have started a new blog 40FitFab which will be devoted to my health and fitness, so I will post all updates on such over there. This blog will still be here, but for now I want to keep my occasional ramblings separate from my food and fitness.
Until later
xxx
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Good hair day
You know some days you spend ages drying and styling and adding product to your hair to get it to sit right. today was not one of those days. Today it was a quick dry and style, and voila - good hair.
You cant help but have a good day when this happens ;-)
Hope you are all having a good hair day too.
xxx
You cant help but have a good day when this happens ;-)
Hope you are all having a good hair day too.
xxx
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