Well this is probably my last post before Christmas, we are flat out for the next few days with celebrating, travelling and generally getting caught up in the whole crazy mess that is Christmas.
I just wanted to thank all of you who have visited my blog this year, and especially those who have left comments. All comments and support have been very much appreciated.
I wish all of you a very Merry Christmas and a peaceful New Year. I hope the New Year brings good things to all of us.
Love
Joc
xxx
Friday, December 22, 2006
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Since yesterday
Ha, you wouldn't believe it, I got on the scales this morning and they read 82.2, which is another 400g down from yesterday.
How cool would it be if we could actually lose 400g a day, weight loss would be a piece of cake. I think I might need to change my weigh in days to Wednesday, I always seem to weigh less on a Wednesday than a Monday or Tuesday lol.
[the rest of this post is long, will possibly not make sense, and most likely be grammatically abhorrent, but is something I need to spill out of my brain and examine in words - feel free to skip if if mindless musings are not your thing]
Lately I have been examining lots of things in my life. I have been giving my personal power over to other people for too long, and I have been feeling the need to reestablish myself, assert my strengths, and truly believe in what I stand for.
This whole process has taken me months, it started early this year after a particularly harrowing holiday with my husband. His behaviour towards me at that time was truly despicable, he treated me with complete disdain, he belittled me, and he blamed me for all of our problems. And it pissed me off!
I posted briefly about it when we returned from the holiday, but I was still in a stage of believing him, over listening to myself and making my own decision. So my post doesn't really do justice to my feelings at the time. I can tell you I was seething! I felt so much anger and hurt I was light headed, I felt like I was seeing things through the wrong end of a pair of binoculars, everything looked so far away, and so fuzzy, all I could see was a red haze of anger. But for the last eleven years I have been at home with my kids, with no income, and in his eyes no power, and constantly being told in one way or another that I had no power, made me believe it. His constant response to anything I complained about was "you can leave any time you want".
I know there are heaps of people who would have left, and would think the worst of me for staying. But I stayed. But it got me thinking, and it got me searching, and it woke me up. The last six months have had their moments. Some of them difficult, some of them enlightening. I feel that I have grown more in the last six months than I have in the last fifteen years.
Our relationship has changed so much. I have stopped taking shit from him, and he has started to show more respect for me. Why oh why couldn't I have worked this out earlier. This year for the first time ever he bought me a birthday present before my actual birthday, and he planned another present that he needed my input on! This has always been a major thing for me, as I always make sure birthdays are special occasions for all of the people close to me, and yet it had never been done for me since he married me.
I feel such a sense of content right now, a real rightness about things in my life. I know that I will lose the weight this time, it is happening, and will continue to happen. I have found a self respect that has been missing. I am feeling creative, and excited about things, even my vision seems clearer. Its amazing.
I have recently begun learning to read tarot cards. In my learning I have done a lot of readings for myself and the cards that fall are cards of such positivity and power, they all point to an inner strength, a sense of rightness in my choices. It amazes me what I am seeing. For a long time I thought my problems were caused by outside sources, but I can see that the worst enemy I have is myself, I am the only one stopping me from achieving my dreams, and for too long I have let fear and guilt make my choices.
It feels so good to be making choices from a position of strength and optimism again. I will turn 40 next year, and I have never felt so good in my entire life.
How cool would it be if we could actually lose 400g a day, weight loss would be a piece of cake. I think I might need to change my weigh in days to Wednesday, I always seem to weigh less on a Wednesday than a Monday or Tuesday lol.
[the rest of this post is long, will possibly not make sense, and most likely be grammatically abhorrent, but is something I need to spill out of my brain and examine in words - feel free to skip if if mindless musings are not your thing]
Lately I have been examining lots of things in my life. I have been giving my personal power over to other people for too long, and I have been feeling the need to reestablish myself, assert my strengths, and truly believe in what I stand for.
This whole process has taken me months, it started early this year after a particularly harrowing holiday with my husband. His behaviour towards me at that time was truly despicable, he treated me with complete disdain, he belittled me, and he blamed me for all of our problems. And it pissed me off!
I posted briefly about it when we returned from the holiday, but I was still in a stage of believing him, over listening to myself and making my own decision. So my post doesn't really do justice to my feelings at the time. I can tell you I was seething! I felt so much anger and hurt I was light headed, I felt like I was seeing things through the wrong end of a pair of binoculars, everything looked so far away, and so fuzzy, all I could see was a red haze of anger. But for the last eleven years I have been at home with my kids, with no income, and in his eyes no power, and constantly being told in one way or another that I had no power, made me believe it. His constant response to anything I complained about was "you can leave any time you want".
I know there are heaps of people who would have left, and would think the worst of me for staying. But I stayed. But it got me thinking, and it got me searching, and it woke me up. The last six months have had their moments. Some of them difficult, some of them enlightening. I feel that I have grown more in the last six months than I have in the last fifteen years.
Our relationship has changed so much. I have stopped taking shit from him, and he has started to show more respect for me. Why oh why couldn't I have worked this out earlier. This year for the first time ever he bought me a birthday present before my actual birthday, and he planned another present that he needed my input on! This has always been a major thing for me, as I always make sure birthdays are special occasions for all of the people close to me, and yet it had never been done for me since he married me.
I feel such a sense of content right now, a real rightness about things in my life. I know that I will lose the weight this time, it is happening, and will continue to happen. I have found a self respect that has been missing. I am feeling creative, and excited about things, even my vision seems clearer. Its amazing.
I have recently begun learning to read tarot cards. In my learning I have done a lot of readings for myself and the cards that fall are cards of such positivity and power, they all point to an inner strength, a sense of rightness in my choices. It amazes me what I am seeing. For a long time I thought my problems were caused by outside sources, but I can see that the worst enemy I have is myself, I am the only one stopping me from achieving my dreams, and for too long I have let fear and guilt make my choices.
It feels so good to be making choices from a position of strength and optimism again. I will turn 40 next year, and I have never felt so good in my entire life.
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Progress Report Week 6
Better late than never I guess.
Last weigh in - 83.3kg
Loss this week - 500g
Current weight - 82.8
So I lost my pesky previous gain, and an extra 100g. Not too shabby given the week of temptations I was exposed to. Unfortunately there are a few more of those types of weeks coming, so I will have to be vigilant.
Starting to look forward to Christmas now that my shopping is done, I'm also looking forward to meeting my new niece for the first time when we go to Sydney :-)
Anyway time to go to work, hope everyone is having a great week.
Last weigh in - 83.3kg
Loss this week - 500g
Current weight - 82.8
So I lost my pesky previous gain, and an extra 100g. Not too shabby given the week of temptations I was exposed to. Unfortunately there are a few more of those types of weeks coming, so I will have to be vigilant.
Starting to look forward to Christmas now that my shopping is done, I'm also looking forward to meeting my new niece for the first time when we go to Sydney :-)
Anyway time to go to work, hope everyone is having a great week.
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Finished!
Finally I have finished my Christmas Shopping!!!
Yay Yay doing the happy dance. I now dont need to go back to the shops for anything until after Christmas. I do still have food to buy, but I can get that from my local supermarket, no need to go the town centre malls.
Yipee, Yay, woo hoo!!!! (Can you tell I am relieved that its all done?)
This morning started out at 9.00am, and we finally sat down for coffee at 2.00pm, and for once I didn't buy a single thing for me ;-) (although I did check out a jewellery store that is closing down after twenty years, they have really lovely designer pieces at good prices, but I restrained myself lol)
Now all that's left is to wrap it all, and pack it in the car to take to Sydney for Christmas Day.
Yay Yay doing the happy dance. I now dont need to go back to the shops for anything until after Christmas. I do still have food to buy, but I can get that from my local supermarket, no need to go the town centre malls.
Yipee, Yay, woo hoo!!!! (Can you tell I am relieved that its all done?)
This morning started out at 9.00am, and we finally sat down for coffee at 2.00pm, and for once I didn't buy a single thing for me ;-) (although I did check out a jewellery store that is closing down after twenty years, they have really lovely designer pieces at good prices, but I restrained myself lol)
Now all that's left is to wrap it all, and pack it in the car to take to Sydney for Christmas Day.
Monday, December 11, 2006
What's going on...
Well its been all weight loss work and no play over here for a while, so I thought I'd do a quick review of the last week so you can see that I am doing things other than working on losing weight lol.
Saturday
... OK so Saturday there was nothing of note to tell you lets move on
Sunday
Made jam with Andrea Bocelli. The stereo was blaring opera (the neighbours must wonder about me, punk one week opera the next) and I chopped, stirred, boiled and bottled for hour after hour. We have a few fruit trees, and we use strawberry plants as ground cover, so there is always something coming ripe in our garden. Sunday was loquats and strawberries. The jam turned out great, very tasty although not for daily consumption cos there's heaps of sugar.
Monday
Usually my clean the house and catch up day, but this week I was at the airport again, for the third time in as many weeks collecting a friend on her return home. We headed back to my place to catch up and have lunch - unfortunately the house still hasn't been cleaned!
Tuesday
Work. We are just finishing up an investigation for a local department on the use of the Internet at work, specifically the people using it to access p0rn! A word of warning for anyone out there using their work computers to access the internet - BE CAREFUL, check the agreed usage guidelines or you could find yourself in trouble!
Wednesday
SHOPPING. I was supposed to finish my Christmas shopping. Ha what a laugh, finish it - I hardly even made a dent, so this week I am back to the shops again. Hopefully for the last time though.
Thursday
More work, more internet p0rn lol.
Friday
Not usually a work day, but we have been so busy I had to go in on Friday so I could finish the invoicing so we might get paid again before Christmas.
Saturday
Hours in the kitchen slicing, dicing, mixing etc making food for a party we were attending that night. Then finally hours sitting on my butt with a wee bit of champagne in hand (all right well a lot of champagne) by a friends new pool (nicely warmed to 32 degrees to ward of that first shock factor on entry), lots of good friends and fun. Both DH and myself could let our hair down as we were staying over night, so we staggered to bed near 2am.
Sunday
Staggered out of bed around 8am, enjoyed breakfast with our friends, spent a bit more time in the pool, then headed home to count down the hours till we could go back to bed.
Which brings me back to Monday. The house still hasn't been cleaned, and nothing much is happening on it because I am sitting here reading blogs on the internet. Didn't weigh in this morning, but will be back tomorrow with an update. Hopefully I was restrained enough on the weekend to avoid any major gains.
Cheers!
Saturday
... OK so Saturday there was nothing of note to tell you lets move on
Sunday
Made jam with Andrea Bocelli. The stereo was blaring opera (the neighbours must wonder about me, punk one week opera the next) and I chopped, stirred, boiled and bottled for hour after hour. We have a few fruit trees, and we use strawberry plants as ground cover, so there is always something coming ripe in our garden. Sunday was loquats and strawberries. The jam turned out great, very tasty although not for daily consumption cos there's heaps of sugar.
Monday
Usually my clean the house and catch up day, but this week I was at the airport again, for the third time in as many weeks collecting a friend on her return home. We headed back to my place to catch up and have lunch - unfortunately the house still hasn't been cleaned!
Tuesday
Work. We are just finishing up an investigation for a local department on the use of the Internet at work, specifically the people using it to access p0rn! A word of warning for anyone out there using their work computers to access the internet - BE CAREFUL, check the agreed usage guidelines or you could find yourself in trouble!
Wednesday
SHOPPING. I was supposed to finish my Christmas shopping. Ha what a laugh, finish it - I hardly even made a dent, so this week I am back to the shops again. Hopefully for the last time though.
Thursday
More work, more internet p0rn lol.
Friday
Not usually a work day, but we have been so busy I had to go in on Friday so I could finish the invoicing so we might get paid again before Christmas.
Saturday
Hours in the kitchen slicing, dicing, mixing etc making food for a party we were attending that night. Then finally hours sitting on my butt with a wee bit of champagne in hand (all right well a lot of champagne) by a friends new pool (nicely warmed to 32 degrees to ward of that first shock factor on entry), lots of good friends and fun. Both DH and myself could let our hair down as we were staying over night, so we staggered to bed near 2am.
Sunday
Staggered out of bed around 8am, enjoyed breakfast with our friends, spent a bit more time in the pool, then headed home to count down the hours till we could go back to bed.
Which brings me back to Monday. The house still hasn't been cleaned, and nothing much is happening on it because I am sitting here reading blogs on the internet. Didn't weigh in this morning, but will be back tomorrow with an update. Hopefully I was restrained enough on the weekend to avoid any major gains.
Cheers!
Tuesday, December 5, 2006
Progress Report Week 5
A small gain to report this week, nothing to panic about though, mostly due I believe to TOM appearing finally (12 week cycle now - weird), so feeling very bloated etc, and an unfortunate but contained binge late last week on olives and fetta, which is true to type for me in the week prior to TOM arriving.
All back on the healthy path again now, still exercising every day and feeling much better for that. I am expecting to turn this gain around next week.
Previous weigth 82.9kg
This week + 400g
Current weight 83.3kg
Total lost 3.3kg
Cheers
All back on the healthy path again now, still exercising every day and feeling much better for that. I am expecting to turn this gain around next week.
Previous weigth 82.9kg
This week + 400g
Current weight 83.3kg
Total lost 3.3kg
Cheers
Friday, December 1, 2006
Progress Report - End Of November
I am really happy to say that November has been a good month on the scales. I started out the month at my heaviest non pregnant weight, which was the most depressing thing, but happily am on my way to a healthy lighter me.
1st November 86.6kg (190.5 lbs)
1st December 82.9kg (182.3 lbs)
Loss for November 3.7kg (8.2 lbs)
As for non scale achievement, I am now able to fit back into my 3/4 denim pants again, last time I tried them someone was in danger of losing an eye when the button popped. I am able to walk to the top of my hill (my daily walking path) and back down in an hour, whereas it was taking me an hour just to walk halfway at the start of November. I have visible triceps again, and the biceps are starting to emerge too :-)
My goal for December is to maintain this momentum, realistically with Christmas in there I might not lose quite as much, but I am determined to lose something. I am aiming for an average of 500g per week for December.
1st November 86.6kg (190.5 lbs)
1st December 82.9kg (182.3 lbs)
Loss for November 3.7kg (8.2 lbs)
As for non scale achievement, I am now able to fit back into my 3/4 denim pants again, last time I tried them someone was in danger of losing an eye when the button popped. I am able to walk to the top of my hill (my daily walking path) and back down in an hour, whereas it was taking me an hour just to walk halfway at the start of November. I have visible triceps again, and the biceps are starting to emerge too :-)
My goal for December is to maintain this momentum, realistically with Christmas in there I might not lose quite as much, but I am determined to lose something. I am aiming for an average of 500g per week for December.
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